I went for the Blackberry Bold 9790 and Curve 9380 event at Lust, Changkat.

The crazy ass jam was part to be credited – I felt lucky that with less people, the competition would be less stiff. Since I attended the previous Blackberry event, I more or less knew that I would stand a better chance if I used paper. Don’t ask me why I thought that way but I did.

As it turns out – I won the Lucky Draw – a Bold 9790 – and no there was definitely more than 10 people the last I checked.

The food was awesome – salmon and lamb was being served even!

They also had a Twitter contest where the best Tweetpic will also win the same model. And guess who won that as well.

In case you think I am pulling your legs. Take a look at the picture above.

Sure, I have my excuses – work, life got the better of me, etc.

Honestly, there’s just this feeling inside me that always whispers “if you want to get it right, you need to do it well”. The case of being a perfectionist – paralysis by overanalysis.

As much of an easy going a person I am – I admit I do suffer from perfectionism – especially in things I care a lot such as my writing.

But as I was reading one of Leo Babauta’s Zen Habit – Simple Guide To Minimalist Life. There was one section where he reminded readers, that they should concentrate on creating – rather than worrying about the outcome. The act of creating and creating momentum is the way to go.

The same reason why – I admit I did not even progressed from page 1 for NaNoWriMo.

My lizard brain kept waiting for when “the time is right”, when my mind is “in the mood” and other such shananigans.

A reminder that sometimes its the little steps to the right direction that makes all the difference.

For a brief moment, I was also having a loss of direction for my site and my purpose.

Me, knowing me…when I ask myself a question, I tend to overanalyze – or as some smartly put it – paralysis by overanalysis.

Limbo

My dayjob sufferred a huge blow – the whole limbo of not knowing where to place myself in this complex maze of life. On one hand, I enjoy the perks of working with a multi national – the shadow of stability, the pristige of working for something big, the make believe promises that you want to believe is true despite knowing it all too well.
On the other, I crave for new experiances, more flexibility and getting to earn my keep. Also, I felt that what I was doing isn’t what I want to do in the long run – the gruelling hours, impractical expectations, irrational people, and of course the cap in what I do.

I was in an identity crisis of sorts.

It was a journey of finding my True North.

Trials and Tribulations

The journey was a tiresome one. I got loads of advice – some well meaning but doesn’t sound right, some costed me money, others were more of dead trails that didn’t lead to anywhere.

I knew for a fact – I enjoyed writing, personal development, marketing, great ideas, learning and smarter ways of doing the same things.
I enjoyed speaking to people, learning new things, travelling and of course encouraging people to live up to the best of their abilities. Came to a point where I wanted to work for a web publishing self development company. I was very gung ho in getting it and was really gunning for it. Heck, I even considered jumping into it even with a paycut.

I didn’t get it. More like they did not get back  to me despite a great series of interviews and a decent sales copy letter.

For a while I got bitter. I felt angry at myself. I felt angry at the people who manipulated me to think that I was so close to finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

But after a while, I took a step back and reflected – would I really want to work in a place where there’s a fixed “style of writing”? Where I will be peddling dubious products – that after some good google checks lead me to reconfirm that they do not work? Would I want to be associated with these giants of self help even knowing that I would never believe in some products they sell – all for the sake of “learning the trade”?

I guess there’s always a silver lining to a cloud. Everything happens for a reason. Sure I might enjoy the perks for a while but ultimately I KNEW for a fact by choosing to join them, I am already playing small. I am already doing what I am currently doing – selling my time for money and burning my creative genius in return for a job.

The Detour

The realization that I needed to dream bigger, pursue bolder, and not just rely on one paycheque hit me hard when I saw how others who are living the life I want are pursuing.

They did not wait, aim and fired…they waited, fired and aimed.

In short – there are no perfect products or perfect situations. Its what we make out of the moments – how we find things to optimize that makes all the difference.

Sure, I may HATE my day job, but I need to find the things I need to learn for the future and do a great job with what has been handed over to me. Simply because of two reasons:

1) How you do anything – is how you do everything
If I choose to play small and do things with just 50%. It will be very likely that I will also put a 50% to anything else I am doing. What differentiates the truly great are those who manage to still do an excellent job despite doing things they do not like.
I found that when I am more conscious of life – the decisions I make – the things that happen – and knowing that my inner world would shape my outer reality – it was definitely a game changer.

2) Success is habitual
The longer I allowed myself to sink in depression and confusion, the less “success” I will see myself in. The less good I will feel. My visual will not sync with my audio. I not be living a life in complete integrity with myself. Since success is habitual, I needed to get to a habit of achieving success – small ones and start the momentum.

The Course of Action

The first step was to be completely and boldly honest with myself – this took quite a tussle. In fact, I am still working this out

I gathered whaever I wanted to be but built an excuse to why I cannot achieve those items and find strategies on how to get it done – Whatever It Takes. Even if it means going to work late, missing sleep, etc. Its putting priorities where they count.
I started with daily workouts – the small wins accumulate to holding myself accountable and doing what I promise myself to do – NO MATTER WHAT.

Also celebrating the mini-wins worked wonders.

I guess I am glad that I had to go through the roller coaster of emotions before coming to a simple realization. Its really a realization. Until and unless you realize, advice would just be words.

I came out of it being more clear about things than when I first started out. A few ideas and new directions have appeared – I am excited over the new things that are coming up. Sure, they require some work (a lot really) but in the end, I guess if it is to secure a more sustainable lifestyle and its something I really enjoy doing – I am all for it. Whatever it takes.

Will be sharing more about the things that have been happening as and when they are done. Sure, things do not happen overnight but a good and firm foundation always has a better chance in succeeding than a weak foundation.

Till then, I promise to keep this blog more personal. Its my true north – to show myself up in this world with more sincerity and help others do the same.

Sidney Ng is a full time Urban Monk, day time banker, part time tutor / mentor, writer, idea pirate, dreamer, thinker, and visionary who is all about living a meaningful life. He writes on the side at http://www.sidneyng.com. You can follow him on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/SidneyNg

Interestingly rubberbands can teach us as much about life as a book can. Amazing how such simple mechanisms can teach us a bit of living eh?

Stretch and Snap

Just like a rubberband, life should be lived stretched. Not to the extremes that it snaps. Sometime back, I used to daydream how nice it would be like to lead a carefree job.

The breeze of a 9 to 5 without anything to worry about except remembering your ATM PIN for salary every month end.

I used to even ask my friends who are stuck in such jobs why are they complaining about. Contrast to me, going to the office everyday only to be chasing deadlines, figures and people like a headless chicken!

It wasn’t until I reflected and realized that having a job that did not stretch me enough was the main reason why I left my previous job. It did not challenge me to live my potentials and I felt I was “underutilized”.

Right now, I am facing the exact opposite, I am in a snap position where I am overstretched.You do not get to absorb, learn and enjoy the moments. Rather, living from one crisis to another. Looking forward for the weekend to catch a breath of fresh air.

It was then that I realized a balance of a stretch role to learn, challenge myself, and improve is needed. Ofcourse, besides the chillax moments to savor work, relationships at work, and the joy of contributing to something greater than myself.

Bit by Bit…Little by Little

Just like a rubber band, life’s progress is meant to be stretched bit by bit, little by little.

Exerting too much force will only make a rubberband snap.

I remembered starting to run the 10km run. Only having to gasp for air after 5km thinking “When will this ever end”. But as I gradually, slowly and playfully made little baby steps, I finally found I could run a half marathon in less than 3 hours!

The best way to grow in life is to progress bit by bit, little by little, and enjoying each step of the process. Force and sheer hard faked determination will only make you hate the process and sabotage rather than propel you forward.

Coming Back To Centre

Like a rubber band that always regains its shape, it is vital for us to also centre ourselves when we are out of balance.

Whenever I “don’t feel right”, I always look inward and centre myself via meditation. It helps me see myself as more than just my job, paycheque, or current circumstances.

This is a very normal thing to do.
In Biology, the process of returning to the original temperature or state of a cell is called homeostasis. Its a very biological process but oftentimes we just “bite the bullet” to maintain a “cool” persona only to self sabotage ourselves along the way.

There are many ways to go about this, just as long as it brings you joy. As for me, I exercise, meditate,  practice martial arts, do some journaling or just do nothing but enjoy the moment to centre myself back to “normal”. What do you personally use to centre yourself?

Stretch Your Imagination

I bet there’s many other things our little rubberband can teach us about life. Stop for a bit and reflect, what else can a simple rubberband teach you about life? Would love to hear from you.

From the tagline “You will be unprepared” to the dark, depressing film noir opening (which just gets more depressing till the end); there’s just no one word to describe Sucker Punch. Call it a rip off of the excellent 2006 Pan’s Labyrnth or CGI porn with a lousy soundtrack, it has a certain beat of its own besides boasting a stellar cast of young, up-and-coming actresses with skimpy costumes in seemingly out of this world circumstances.

But that really isn’t the point.

Zack Snyder the writer and director who has made a film adaptation of The Watchman was not just trying to create an eye-candy tale.To me at least, it was a meditation of sorts of life and the liberation in the form of gnosis. The subtle gestures and hints left along the way, like breadcrumbs to the final cookie.

The movie follows seemingly parallel storylines to form a single story. Some have compared it with Christopher Nolan’s Inception. Which as smart as it may seem, is inaccurate.For one, all the characters are aware of their situation and it isn’t a dream sequence.

You draw your own meaning from life’s experiances. Here’s my little interpretation of the movie.

The main character of the movie, Baby Doll has been dealt with the most unfavorable cards.
Just like many of us, things in life “just happens” dizying out of control. She is thrown into a seemingly limbo of no return (in the form of a lobotomy). She escapes into a different “worlds”  or realities to shield herself from her harsh reality. With exaggerated fight and action scenes, it brings her on a quest to collect items that will set her free. Without giving away too much of the storyline, here are the major themes that I found from the movie:

We all crave for freedom.

The question of freewill and whether we have a free will has been a subject of debate. This movie merely illustrates free will in action.
At the point of awakening, listening to your heart, having the courage to battle fire breathing dragons, having sacrifice and understanding what freedom is summarizes how an awakened person is supposed to lead his / her life.

Awakening

Its the point of time where we realize that we have been sleepwalking most of our lives. Living ambitions set by the society around us. Letting our teachers, religious leaders and parents dictate what we should do and how we should lead our lives. The moment the realization that there is such thing as freedom and crystalizing what does freedom mean to you, is the first point of being awakened.

Listening to Your Heart

Your heart speaks in riddles, only because you have ridiculed your heart as you were growing up. Thanks to how society has moulded you on how to live. The pre-conceptions on what is reality becomes muddled. The lense in which your view life becomes distorted. This is usually corrected via meditation. Meditation brings forth clarity and brings you back to the right path. You no longer see the need to compare with others.

Most often, your heart states the obvious. The things we already know but take for granted. We all know that we should pray, speak truthfully, act in a noble manner, etc. But how many of us actually listen to these soft gentle whispers of our heart?

Once you start listening to those whispers and leading your life in closer accordance to things you know are true, you will lead your life from your heart.

So when was the last time you have followed your heart?

Having the Courage to Battle Fire Breathing Dragons

A hero’s journey is never easy. Do you remember reading folk tales of the knight in shining armour having to battle dragons to have the fair maiden’s hand in marriage?

You don’t hear of knights just knocking on the front door for a princess’s hand in marriage now do you?
So, be prepared to lose spiritual limbs – being ridiculed, seemingly taking two steps back, stabbed, bullied, head dunked in the toilet (hey, it happens) but rest assured you are in right company. The road is long, ardeous and often times dangerous; but the reward (or fair maiden) is permanant.

Having the courage to face these challenges once you have set your sights on the right hill to climb (you certainly don’t want to end up on the wrong mountain), is part and parcel of the hero’s journey. Its what determines the winners from the wannabes

Having Sacrifice

Sacrifice is forgoing the lesser for something greater. Most often, we hold on to what we thing is important (or what we think is the ULTIMATE thing in our life) only to lose it and realize that only by letting go, you can get something of greater value. This ties back to courage of letting go of the petty. It might be as simple as cleaning up your wardrobe to letting go of backward ideas / dogmas that stunt our spiritual growth. It might also mean letting go of your current hedonistic lifestyle despite the perks and blings that it can afford you.

So, what’s your sacrifice to lead an awesome life? What’s holding you back?

Discovering Freedom

Samadhi as some put it. It exists in different forms – financial freedom, spiritual freedom, self freedom, etc.
You have felt glimpses of it at some point or other in your lives. Either in meditation, a dream you do not want to wake up from, in the midst of a good workout, etc. The idea is to transform those passing states to a state of being.

I have to admit that I have yet to taste the freedom as a pro-longed state but having more frequent tastes of the passing state reassures me I am on the right path. Sure, I may not have everything figured out yet; I may have made some mistakes in reaching my end goal (even realizing that I have been climbing the wrong hill!) but I am grateful to be always buoyed back to the right direction.

I would like to end with an excellent quote from the movie: “And one more thing, if you don’t stand for anything, you will fall for everything”

Been OD-ing on bananas and apples mostly. Had some oranges and even a watermelon. Many thanks to Karen for helping me cut the melon Never know what I can do without her

I kept telling myself I should be doing the fruit fast. Kept delaying it. The mind and body often justifies. Or “intelligently reasons out”.

But since I got back to my practice of meditation and prayer; I guess my will and heart is strong enough to rejuvenate the practice. These are just the short notes of things I have learnt, experianced, meditated thoughts, been taught to (either by audio programs that really resonated with me or daily interactions) during the past 3 days. I must admit it wasn’t as easy as I imagined. On Day 3, I was almost on the verge of giving up. Not so much the temptation of maggi goreng near my office, awesome variety of food in Signatures, KLCC or the Fatman Steamboat mini van in Solaris (OK, maybe part of it). But it was the gastric feeling. Once again, mind over matter.

Managed to still keep most of my fast save for some juices that I am not sure of the authenticity of the source of origins (the little marvels esters can do).

Anyway, on to the lessons:

1. Having faith that things will work out. Faith has a funny way of working out. Follow your bliss and what inspires you rather than what pays the most or what others will think of you. I often fall into the trap of doing what looks smart. But your Self knows better

2. Have good intentions, enjoy the process (including the pain, which are more of life’s lessons), show up in your best (relative best, so don’t be too harsh on yourself) – playfully and dilligently, with an open mind and heart, while clarifying what you want. Things will work out.

3. Take a sabbatical, since you are still young and can afford to do so. Find yourself. Stare at your navel, there’s a meaning in that.

4. Often when you think someone is doing well or is enviable, most often there is a split side of the coin. Money is a good downpayment to happiness but it doesn’t pay everything.

5. Accept the setbacks that you have, everyone has their own strengths and weakness. Celebrate your strengths and be mindful of your weakness.

6. There are no mistakes. Just mis-takes.

7. Stand up for what you believe is right. Live life according to your standards, not the standards of others. Sometimes we live with higher moral standards. What you think is true might be unpopular but thats what true leadership is about.

8. Just be your authentic self. If others can’t accept that (bosses, friends or even companies), then you shouldn’t even be with them. Accept yourself. With warts and all. Being true to yourself and others is truly liberating. As Tim Ferris puts it “it is said that if everyone is your customer, then no one is your customer” and “people can dislike you – and you often sell more by offending some – but they should never misunderstand you”. Awesome advice on both having a business and leading an authentic life.

9. Silence is more often or not a virtue.

10. Sometimes its about showing up well with the baby steps, no matter how small it is. Having creative commitments to fuel the stretch goal.

I always wanted to take up martial arts, was toying about Aikido or Karate but ended up with Karate some 4 years ago as there was a Sensei around where I used to work. Back when I was in high school I really really wanted to pick up Taekwondo, the Batman tendancies started early but my folks can’t afford and I remember trying to learn outside the school hall.

I always toyed around the idea of martial arts and how martial arts teach us a lot about life and about showing up. I always had an awe on the discipline and the diligence proponents of martial arts had. They know very well they will be throwed around, yet they still make it a practice to attend classes.

I have the highest regards to Karate and Aikido as they show humility towards their opponents and they taught budo more than the techniques. The kata’s and kihon’s were merely an expression or a meditation in motion of the Budo. Or the Martial Way.

Meditation has also been something I have been toying and dabbling for the past 11 years or so. My interest in meditation and even the occult started very early in life. By 13, I was already reading about chakras and the Arkhasic records. All this perhaps sparked due to vivid Out Of Body Experiance memories I have when I was 4 or 5. It was scary but it felt right in a funny way. I still have almost excellent memory of my childhood and my early years were years where I felt “guided”. I had the same spiritual state when I was in college after reading The Celestine Prophecy and also from interactions with the Ouroboros Society. Fun times those were.

Up to today, I still feel that I am meant for greater things and my early start in the spiritual is testament of that. As much as I dig religion, I still found something missing in organized religion. Its as if the initial spark or intent of it has been forgotten and replaced with modern day administration and surface glazing which I am not too big a fan of. I subscribe to the gnostic testament that “The kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17:21, NIV). I feel that spirituality is meant to be experianced in the daily things that happen. The people the you meet, the lives that you touch and the change that you bring. Spirituality is a living religion rather than lip service or a string of rituals that serve merely to teach symbolically the fundamentals of living (devotion to the Source / God).

I started both my meditation and karate practice back quite recently and the chain of events from those practices (totally not intentioned) has been excellent. Its blissful awareness of yourself and just clarifying your values and what you are meant to be doing. That is the easy part of things, the challenge comes in actually living these truths against all odds.

Living against the stream of society’s perceptions of what normal is and twisted understanding of spirituality and of living is challenging. We are living in a world where things are OK just so long as “everybody is doing it”. Just because the mass majority approves of something makes it right. I was also hit by the same wave but one of just going with the norms of society since I started working. Listening to one of the Optimal Living 101 sessions reminded me of the fact that we have our own values to live up to (some even higher than the bar set by society) and that long time ago, it was OK to have slaves, it was OK to discriminate…but not anymore.

Put togather, the words Meditation Dojo means a lot and with careful thought, it has more significance than just the marrying of two different ideas – peace (meditation) vs kumite (dojo), kind of like the yin and the yang.

Two parts of the same coin.

So above yet so below.

It means:

Showing Up Even When Things Are Bleak

In meditation, karate and in life, we need to just show up and do our best even when things are the ugliest -i.e.  you don’t feel like meditating, you are dreading the strain you will go through, you are in the rut. In the dojo, no matter how ridiculous something sounds, you still need to bow and give a loud OSU! and just do it. The same applies to the area of meditation and in life.

Stretching Your Limits Even When You Don’t Want to Be Stretched

In karate, every session is stretching. You will find greater strength in yourself doing things you never think you can do. As I always playfully tell my friends with 10th Dan you can transform water to sake, gain invisibility and dodge bullets. As serious as I hope I can get those abilities, it has a deeper meaning. When you meditate and when you live, you will be stretched, there will definitely be challenges, so you need to have the courage and will to stretch yourself. This can be making a major change in your life direction or increasing your meditation sitting time.

There WILL be Mistakes. You WILL Get Kicked, Punched, Thrown, Etc.

Just like life and meditation, there will be mistakes that you will make. There will definitely be pain, don’t let any religious guru or self help guru tell you otherwise. You will be thrown around (trust me not a pleasant feeling), kicked, punched and you will make mistakes. But all this will serve to train your diligence, patience, build your character and most importantly your will to stand up again and face the enemy.

Its all about getting up.

The faster you get up, the faster you recover to bounce back in action and the less energy is wasted. Pain like change are hard things to accept but once you recover, you will find that you are a changed person.

Same as when you miss a day of meditation, get up and get back to practice.

Humility and Fun

You will also learn to be humble in taking falls / punches / etc. Embodying the pain and realizing that you do not want others to feel the same pain you are feeling. This gives you the sense of peace within you to defend yourself in a battle rather than to fight. And when a fight is necessary, to end the fight swiftly to incur as little pain. The same lesson you learn when you meditate, there are days where you can’t still your mind, it teaches you to be humble and that you can never learn it all.

Notice that in Karate the grading system 10th Kyu to 1st Kyu to 1st Dan to 10th Dan. The numbers are reversed to remind the Dan’s that learning never stops. That makes it all the more fun. As much as I would love invisibility – gain via going to Japan meditating and learning under a Master Dan with Jedi like powers, I think the main fun of it is developing yourself to be a better person. To take life less seriously and take things less seriously and live for the sake of living.

Conclusion

I can go on and on with how related martial arts, meditation and life is related to. Incidently, I have also purchased the URL www.meditationdojo.com. I hope to monetize it within this year or so, or at least share this wisdom I have on meditation and martial arts and hopefully get more people to lead more authentic lives from this.

Have an idea on what I should do with the URL or any thoughts on meditation, martial arts, and life? Do comment or drop me a note Love to hear and learn from you.

Now, step on the dojo mat and meditate. Mokuso. OSU!

I just love that line.

As most of you know, I have been struggling with this issue since I started working. Unlike the rest of the office mice, I have always been a rebel of a different cause, I am not satisfied with the standard 9-5 hedonistic treadmill that stiffens creativity, limits learning and basically kills whatever human values you have been taught when you grew up.

I started off my career as some of you may know, in the Plantations. Was doing Estate Management for a bit but felt that the too laid back enviroment is limiting my potentials. I went over to Agronomy and did some policy work / RSPO audits and was even given the opportunity to speak in front of industrty stewards of the oil palm industry. As much in flow as I was doing my job, knowing the right people, etc. I felt I wasn’t touching enough of lives, I felt that the industry moved a little too slow for my liking (being young and all that) and decided to join the coporate rat race.

Fast forward 2 and half years down the road. I found that I didn’t like the person I saw in the mirror. As much as I hate to admit it, the corporate life did change me. It taught me lessons that I would otherwise not learn anywhere else. For that, I am grateful. I also realized that this isn’t my dharma. I lost the state of “flow”. The feeling of knowing you are doing a great job, the satisfaction of learning, creating and contributing to a greater whole. I am still thankful for the friends I met, the things I learnt and even the classes I took to keep up to date with my peers who did business / finance as their undergraduate study.

As you may have noticed, I am fairly ambitious and I love learning new things and doing my best to make myself even more proficient in doing what I am doing. I believe work or the more degratory term job is like art, its a passion that takes a life of its own to create new experiances. Both for myself, the artist and the admirers of my work.

Different people may call it different terms, the Buddhists and Hindus call it Dharma or “righteous duty”. I believe a pursuit of work is a noble and sacred thing and should be that. I have been on my pursuit to find my dharma and performing with the best of my ability my dharma at whatever comes my way. I believe even in life, we should pursue it in the simmilar manner like our work.

The past two weeks, I have been checking out Brian Johnson’s Optimal Living 101. Excellent stuff. Not sure if there are as many people who read as much self help as he has. When I first checked out Philosopher’s Notes, I was hooked. Awesome idea of having Cliff Notes for Self Help books. Getting the best 6 ideas. But as Brian points out, knowing is just rudimentary but application of these ideas in living the best life is key. Without that, nothing else matters.

So, I took up his challenge of deciding on the ONE thing that would change your game and giving it my 100%. I decided to go with meditation. Meditation has been the restless monkey I have been trying to tame for a long while now. I started meditation when I was 14. I remember surfing to so many websites (on dial up naturally) finding out different types of meditations and even yogic asanas. Perhaps the fascination with meditation came with memories of Out of Body Experiance when I was still 4 or 5. Since then, I have been in and out of practice. I am thankful to have met different groups of people at different stages of my life that taught me different things and miraculously always buoyed me back to practice.

So this time, I made a commitment to meditate at least 5 minutes a day. It has been great so far, I can manage to stretch my sessions to 20 minutes and the experiance has been quite blissful. The quiet reverie of just observing my breath and the peace that comes from that is a reminder that the best things in life, are free.

Another thing that was prescribed by Brian was to visit the Authentic Happiness website and do the VIA Survey of Character Strengths which would tell you what you should be doing. Being no stranger to character tests, I performed the Emergenetics and Gallup StregthFinder assessments; I was quite impressed with the results. The main element of the strength assessment is to assess what you do best, if you keep doing what you do best, you will be in the best state the contribute and grow as an individual.

The results seem pretty accurate and much in line with my personality:

Your Top Strength – Love of learning
You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn.

Your Second Strength - Perspective (wisdom)
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Your Third Strength - Spirituality, sense of purpose, and faith
You have strong and coherent beliefs about the higher purpose and meaning of the universe. You know where you fit in the larger scheme. Your beliefs shape your actions and are a source of comfort to you.

Your Fourth Strength – Gratitude
You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

Your Fifth Strength – Self-control and self-regulation
You self-consciously regulate what you feel and what you do. You are a disciplined person. You are in control of your appetites and your emotions, not vice versa.

Strength#6 - Creativity, ingenuity, and originality
Thinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible.

Which brings me back to the title of my blogpost of Doing your Dharma. From my strenghts, I should utilize whatever I have to enrich my learning and be on path with my life practice. For example, taking my strengths above, I should : learn as much new things as I can about my job wherever I am, use whatever I learn in perspective to provide wisdom for those around me, spread spirituality and a sense of hope / faith to the people around my circle of influence, be grateful and to teach others around me in the space I work the same, to always be conscious of my actions and the consequences and to share the same wisdom to those around me and finally to create new experiances for those around me.

From my limited years of work experiance, I have learnt that there is no use to force or orchastrate certain events from happening. Everything happens in its own time. Same thing with work, or dharma. There’s lessons to be learnt in every experiance. So its vital to do your dharma, applying your strengths to whatever you are doing. No matter how menial. I guess its from these things, that we find meaning to our otherwise mundane lives.

Sidney Ng is a full time Urban Monk, day time banker, part time tutor / mentor, writer, idea pirate, dreamer, thinker, and visionary who is all about living a meaningful life. You can follow him on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/SidneyNg

I have read this at least a few times before but it was just yesterday, the statement just made me freeze. It was a “Eureka” moment of sudden unravelling for me.

It really got me thinking and looking for examples in my life. I found that its very true. It kinda adds perspective to the old adage “Birds of a feather flock togather”.

It made me also think about who have I been getting my advice from.

Sometimes, I find that people may have your best in their mind (note: their mind). But if these same people are people who blame circumstances, who have not achieved much in life, are still complaining about the rut they are stuck in their life; chances are they will remain where they are. Chances are, if you follow their advice, you would also be stuck in the rut you are in, blame circumstances, not achieve the quality of life that you deserve and will be still complaining.

Life like everything else is about perceptions. What seems like a drag to you, may be a life passion to others.

It also made me reflect on my own life and be grateful for certain things that I may have overlooked / blown out of proportion. Despite my current day job and environment not being the most awesome ever; I guess I failed to see that not many people my age actually got the opportunity to see / learn and experiance the things I have over the past 2 years. It might have lead me to difficult, grey situations that lead to uncomfortable experiances, but the fact remains I have grown stronger from it and I have better clarity on what I do want in life and what I don’t.

For that I am grateful.

And I digress, so who have been your mentors / teachers / friends whom you spend most of your time with?

It may be your colleagues, it may be your friends, family, girlfriend, boyfriend, etc.

What perceptions or preconceptions do they have about life?
What fears do they hold that has prevented them from living the life they desire?
What is their world view?
What do they think about life?
What do they think about money?
What do they think about success?

More often that not, you will notice that you are an “average” of those perceptions that they have. If they lead mediocre lives with mediocre dreams, more often or not; those fears and views that they have will also pass down to you.

I think I did mention here sometime ago that I do not see myself being like my bosses in the future. I don’t think life is worth it being bogged down pleasing your superiors all the time (which isn’t in your Job Description to begin with), defending your turf no matter what, stabbing others to get to the top, delegating everything else, passing the blame around and achieving their own personal KPI’s disregarding the big picture of overall progress. That is just unacceptable and unethical. But I guess in a corporate world, its a norm.I am grateful to be able to witness all this drama firsthand and learn to be wiser from it.

Question is: would I want to take career advice from these individuals who would do anything to get to the top but who are (my guess) miserable and empty deep inside? Would you?

I guess 2011 will see me creating a lot of new friendship bonds especially with those whom I admire and strenghtening old bonds with those who have positive traits that I want to incorporate in my life. Looking forward to a great 2011 ahead with renewed passions and being more aligned with my principles and visions.

I used to be on both sides of the camps.

Back when I was in high school, I never believed in goals and new year’s resolutions because they never got resolved anyway.
Things never did happen.
When I was working, I started being very gung ho on resolutions and goals.
Sure, some of the items hit home run. Others just remained lofty goals and dreams.
So I guess I can see the arguments of both sides.

Just a few days ago I was listening to Anthony Robbin’s audiobook programme. He brought up something very interesting.

Goals and resolutions don’t get acted upon simply because they are just goals and resolutions. Rather, we should have outcomes. Outcomes are real, measurable items that have a solid end game.

So, instead of writing a goal or a resolution on what you want to accomplish; write an OUTCOME.

Amazing how words affect how we think and react to something.
Rather than to leave it out vague, an outcome is specific, measurable and has a timeline.

Sounds familiar?

Yes, its like SMART goals : Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timebound.

Just that I am going to stretch this further and ask you to make the goals Specific, Measurable and Timebound.

Where is the fun in putting in something “attainable” and “realistic”? The creative tension from having something stretched out is both more fulfilling and you get results you want rather than results that is easy to achieve.

I have here 3 steps to making Outcomes and Making Them a Reality:

Step ONE: Clarifying 5 Main Things You Want

I learnt this from an ex-boss of mine, get clear on the 5 things you want to attract or improve in your life.

Keep it to just 5 so that you remain focused and you stick to things you absolutetly want. Stamp a timeline and write down what you want and by when will you get it. Noticed the words get it, you need to want it so bad that you are very sure that you will get it no matter what on that specified date.

Make sure you write it down clearly and clearly that you can picture it vividly. They must be written as an outcome:

i.e. “I will be going to New York in the United States on 15th May 2011 for the next 4 day. I will be flying there via Business Class and will be visiting the city and meeting friends there and having the time of my life” (sounds a little fake, but hey…)

Step TWO: Break Down To Smaller Tasks

Most of us falter here. We stop at just clarifying what we want and when we want it. Then we go about our lives hoping that these “prayers” done once a year on paper will come true.

Some of us take the extra step in reciting them and using the “law of attraction” to “attract” these items only to get frutstrated in the end.

I always believe in having a plan.

Break down the end goal to smaller bite sized goals to be acted upon monthly, weekly and daily.

Let’s just say I want to go to USA on May 2011.
I will need to list down the stuff I need to do prior to getting there such as: getting a US Visa, booking a flight, contacting people I know there, etc.

Plan out the steps involved and insert them in your schedule.

As Robin Sharma says: Show me a person’s schedule and I can tell you his/her priorties in life.

Step THREE: Review and Adjust

Review these items on a weekly basis, on a Sunday before you start your week to remind yourself on your priorities.

You owe it on yourself to act on what you have promised yourself with.

Also remember, that being human, its perfectly allright to adjust these outcomes. So feel free to adjust the outcome to suit your situation, perhaps your outcome can be expanded to backpacking around the world with just a stopover to New York, USA?

Get creative and don’t be afraid to go crazy a little.

Its only unconventional people and ideas that usually change the world, never the tried and tested “safe ideas” that usually bore the living daylights of you.

Sidney Ng is a full time Urban Monk, day time banker, part time tutor / mentor, writer, idea pirate, dreamer, thinker, and visionary who is all about living a meaningful life. You can follow him on Twitter at: http://twitter.com/SidneyNg